Do you know? There has been a study on women's affair in Taiwan and found that up to about 35% of women have had an affair experience! In his new book "Insight into the hearts of people from affair: Time Creation and Rebuilding Trust", professional advisor psychologist Lin Cuifen revealed a surprising fact: According to research, these women believe that extramarital affair makes them more likely to have orgasm, including sexual intercourse skills, posture changes, and praise, and higher satisfaction. The most age is between 40 and 49 years old; the most affair targets are friends, followed by colleagues, netizens and ex-boyfriends. What is surprising is that the third year of marriage is a high-risk period!
Find a perfect lover, and one is not enough to come to anotherLin Cuifen shared that a female friend was looking for an ideal partner, because she could not find someone who could meet all needs, so she chose multiple different lovers to supplement all aspects of her shortcomings. For example, when she needs to shop or enjoy material life, she will choose a lover with better economic conditions; when she feels lonely or needs emotional communication, she will find a lover with plenty of time to accompany her. This way allows her to find a companion among multiple lovers who are suitable for her current needs. However, this lifestyle that depends on multiple relationships also makes her constantly change between different lovers in pursuit of double satisfaction of spirit and materiality. Lin Cuifen pointed out that judging from her experience in advising, the proportion of women who make emotional advisors is relatively high. They often suffer huge guilt and self-responsibility due to an affair. This not only puts pressure on their psychology, but also affects their work and daily life. In contrast, the proportion of men who are emotionally seeking companionship to consult with others is higher, mainly because they hope to work hard to save marriage relations.
People often ask me: "What kind of lovers are not expressive to love?" To be honest, this question is difficult to answer, because if you are not careful, you will fall into the trap of "over-categorization" and knock a boat over one stone. However, if you ask from a different perspective, "What kind of attitude do people who are not dedicated to love have?" According to my years of research experience, there are several possibilities for women to "not express their feelings":
1. Overestimate their self-control:
Some people think that they can control themselves, but they just come out to chat for a day without any warning. In the absence of caution, they often talk and chat. If you are not careful, they will cross the emotional line. Therefore, don't underestimate talking and chat. It is easy to have a strong sense of intimacy and feel that they know each other and cherish each other.
2.Certify that they are "very attractive":
I know many female friends with good conditions, and they will measure "their charm" by "the number of suitors". In order to prove that they are "very attractive", they will gather suitors in large quantities and enjoy the feeling of "the stars surround the moon". I often hear: where do people who pursue me rank, or how many numbers have they obtained from the number of people who pursue me rank. What is curious is how many suitors does a person need to affirm his charm? This answer requires self-exploration before it can be solved.
3. Unable to endure loneliness:
Loneliness is a strong and complex emotion. It appears in the form of depression, loneliness, emptiness, anxiety, anxiety, powerlessness and sorrow, which often makes people unable to extricate themselves. My friend C is suffering from emotional distress and relies on alcohol to escape the real pain every night. Alcohol not only hinders her feelings, but also makes her feel even happier. She often calls male friends or colleagues to ask for company after getting drunk, which often leads to unintentional secret relationships. This behavior becomes a trap of self-circulation, like a rotating horse with a timer set, constantly rotating until exhausted.
4. The feeling of longing for being loved:
When women desire to be loved, any person and thing that can make themselves "feel the feeling of being loved" may be held tightly.
In all human interactions, the touch of the skin, such as hugging, patting, snuggling, etc., as well as the warmth of the words, such as praise, concern, and waiting, are the easiest to make people feel cared for. Some people do not hesitate to pay a lot of money to get the feeling of being loved.
5. Exchange interests:
Many people think that women who use sexual love to exchange interests are mostly unfaithful and fragile women. In fact, I have seen that many women with rich life experience, excellent professional abilities, and sensitive observation skills will also use sexual love to exchange interests with men. Friend F is an expert in operation. During the day, she discusses future trends with customers and discusses investment plans. At night, she changes her body and listens to the customer's thoughts and comforts each other's physical and mental needs. What is most admirable is her stability and calmness. No matter how amazing things happened to both sides, after the situation is over, she can control her emotions to the point where nothing happened.
6. Neglected by your companion:
Women who have been ignored for a long time in marriage often feel like a withered plant lacking love. A friend who is a family host felt that her husband's eyes were full of contempt, which made her lose confidence in her charm. However, when she met a lover in the air file in her daily life, the other party's passionate eyes made her feel that she was still attractive again. This feeling is a great psychological support for women who feel "lack of charm" and "unnecessary" in close relationships for a long time. Even with a strong sense of guilt, this feeling of being admired and loved often makes women unconsciously seek the company of their lovers, and repeat this behavior for psychological comfort..
7. Marriage Question:
Away and indifference in marriage may force some people to find new secret relationships to relieve stress. A friend who has been a family host for a long time felt pain because she could not feel her husband's appreciation. She found a lover in the gaps of her daily routine. Her attraction, her husband's indifference, compared to her lover's acceptance and appreciation, made her feel the value of existence. She admitted that when she was with her husband, she did not dare to show her true self because her husband often laughed at her true nature. On the contrary, the lover's acceptance allows her to show herself freely, and this feeling of understanding and acceptance makes her unconsciously attracted, even with the feeling of guilt, it is difficult to resist this attraction. In fact, many women who have sex are because they can show their true self in the opposite direction. For example, childhood sweethearts who grew up together and classmates who understand their own temperaments, this familiar sense of freedom and indetention often makes women willing to risk their own risk and fall in love with each other's embrace.
8. Rejuvenation of relationship with an old lover:
When the marriage life is not as expected, encountering an old lover unintentionally or when participating in activities, especially when the breakup was not painful, the previous love was easier to rejuvenate.
9. Sensual romantic type:
Women who value sensibility, romance, straightforwardness, beauty, and art. Once love declines, they will not care about everything they pursue love.
The insecure dependence relationships with parents often cause some people to be addicted to vague and unstable relationships, especially those with the characteristics of "interested dependence" or "escaping dependence". People with this type of dependency often worry about being abandoned or abandoned by their lovers, which forces them to ask more lovers to reduce their inner distraction. However, excessive changes to confidential objects often bring a sense of loss. When these relationships end, the other party may unintentionally take away some of their confidence, self-esteem, emotion, security or beautiful memories, which makes their heart feel more empty. If you often feel lonely and difficult, lack of object of complaint, longing for love or admiration for the happiness of others, these may be signs of insufficient emotional support system. What you might really need is a companion who provides true warmth and love, not a silly relationship that only brings a sense of loss.
This article records: "Insight into the heart from an affair: Time-to-life insult and rebuilding trust"
